'Obsessive desire aching need for the envy of others.'
[Mirror mirror, the uses and abuses of self love by Simon Blackburn. Chapter 3 – page 45]

I am a pig, I am lonely, and I am not satisfied. My world evolves around perfectionism. Not only I have to be perfect, but also the people around me. If I sniff a little bit of insecurity you are mine. I will fashion you, destroy you, and pet you, until you can be on my level. I am an expert in finding peoples insecurities. The words I am using when I talk can be so complicated that you do not understand. This will make me feel even more great when you are a high educated person. The way I put on my make-up and the way I dress myself contains years of practice and experience. I know very well that this is not important to a lot of people and for them it was also not a life task to figure it out. For me this makes me who I am. It is very good for me to be around people that are less smart than me or people that have no knowledge about my field. I will act to be the greatest person and a highlight for their lives. I will be sweet for them after I told them really mean things. I am totally not interested in you as a person. I am interested in how you appear. In the evening when I come home, I am very tired. Finally I can take my mask of. Becoming a small little girl, feeling pity for myself.